I'm torn. This weekend is our annual Duff girls' weekend. I am thrilled to be going, it's always a fun time and we get to be silly and eat a lot and go to some cultural/community thing we never do otherwise. This year I'm a mommy and I have been telling myself, oh yes, no problem, I'm so happy to have a couple days to do adult stuff, whoopee!
Mom & Dad are coming to stay with the babies for the weekend and Mom wanted me to write down their routine and whatever other stuff they need to know. Routine? Ha. But I did start making a few notes, and the more I do, the more I am starting to miss them before I even leave, and I feel guilty for going away when I could be spending time with them, etc etc etc. I guess it just comes with the territory. There's all these little things we do that I guess are routine for us, even if it's just a certain way we get them ready for bed or play with them, or whatever.
But then I tell myself it's only once a year, and they'll live, and they love Papa and Grandma, and they love the babies, and they'll be in good hands and I'm just being a drama queen. I guess.
So if you see my babies this weekend give them a kiss for me.
3.27.2008
3.23.2008
Who, me?
So, I'm the one who never posts anything. I think about it a lot. Then I just get tired. Of course I don't go to bed. I surf. Then I think about it some more. Then I surf. Waste more time. Enjoy the quiet after everyone's asleep. I always think I have too much to say about nothing special and that I won't get it all said, so why even try? I guess I'll just take a stab at it then...
This coming weekend is going to be busy and FUN. Brett's got continuing ed in Des Moines. It's my girls' weekend. Aaron comes home from Nicaragua on Saturday night. Julie & Nicole leave for Hawaii on Sunday at 1am. Mom and Dad are staying the entire weekend and watching the babies. I think they have no idea what they are in for, other than they get to show them off Sunday morning. Little do they know. (Insert evil laugh)
We had a very traditional Chinese buffet Easter dinner today at the Metro Buffet. They even tried to make it Easter-ish: there was ham and fried potatoes on the buffet, next to the lo mein & crab legs. Mom called around yesterday to find a place that would be open. I thought earlier in the week about possibly making dinner but then I got the sinus thing and heck, I didn't really want to do it anyway. Everyone came over afterward though so that was nice. David spent some quality time with Grandpa Louis. Mom came through on the peanut butter eggs - I told her yesterday that the babies really liked those A LOT. Good babies. Such great taste. Excuse me, I think I have a little peanut butter here on my cheek.
Mom wants me to write down everything for them this coming weekend. How do I tell her we don't really have a routine? Maybe if I try to write things down this week I'll discover that maybe we kind of do. It's just not by a clock. It's more like what's next, after this? And oh yeah, we should do that too. And hey, they're kind of stinky. Have they had a bath in recent memory?
This coming weekend is going to be busy and FUN. Brett's got continuing ed in Des Moines. It's my girls' weekend. Aaron comes home from Nicaragua on Saturday night. Julie & Nicole leave for Hawaii on Sunday at 1am. Mom and Dad are staying the entire weekend and watching the babies. I think they have no idea what they are in for, other than they get to show them off Sunday morning. Little do they know. (Insert evil laugh)
We had a very traditional Chinese buffet Easter dinner today at the Metro Buffet. They even tried to make it Easter-ish: there was ham and fried potatoes on the buffet, next to the lo mein & crab legs. Mom called around yesterday to find a place that would be open. I thought earlier in the week about possibly making dinner but then I got the sinus thing and heck, I didn't really want to do it anyway. Everyone came over afterward though so that was nice. David spent some quality time with Grandpa Louis. Mom came through on the peanut butter eggs - I told her yesterday that the babies really liked those A LOT. Good babies. Such great taste. Excuse me, I think I have a little peanut butter here on my cheek.
Mom wants me to write down everything for them this coming weekend. How do I tell her we don't really have a routine? Maybe if I try to write things down this week I'll discover that maybe we kind of do. It's just not by a clock. It's more like what's next, after this? And oh yeah, we should do that too. And hey, they're kind of stinky. Have they had a bath in recent memory?
1.07.2008
A New Day
So I woke up feeling much better this morning. I slept beautifully - with a slobbery pillow to prove it. Life is once again back to our routine. The babies are cute and charming again. I talked to Jackie W this morning & she reminded me that all the extra work with twins now will pay off later when they have each other as playmates and I won't have to entertain them so much. I've been at work for a few hours and I'm still plowing through piles of paper - but it feels good because I'm using my brain again. We're all trying to watch what we eat starting this week & then somebody had the nerve to bring this yummy trail mix snacky chocolate cereal stuff. Geez!
1.06.2008
Bad Mommy
I think today is the first day since the babies have been born that I have NOT felt like being a mom. This week off was really wonderful, I enjoyed spending time with both of them, just with me. Then around Friday I started to crack a little - I missed the social adult interaction, I hated feeling all needy when Brett came home from work. I had too much pop all day & I couldn't get to sleep on Friday night... then I was overtired AND stressed out all day Saturday. Fortunately Mom & Dad came over in the afternoon & I took a nap. It was the first one all week where I didn't have to sleep with one eye open waiting for someone to wake up. I know there's lots of other moms, including friends of mine, who never get a break & have been home with their babies since Day 1, with no help. I am so glad I'm not one of them. I'm actually looking forward to going back to work tomorrow. I think this whole thing was probably good for me so I could really let it sink in that I am not cut out to be a stay at home mom. People in some circles I'm in - like church - are still shocked that I still work full-time. I guess I'm finally glad that I DO work outside our home. I am just not cut out to set my own schedule & have to prioritize everything for myself. Brett was really good about the whole thing & let me vent & took care of the babies most of the evening.
I also decided that at almost 5 months, I'm going to wean Zoe off the breastmilk. I just hit a wall with it, and I'm done. I'm doing it slowly... trying to just pump once in the morning and once at night. I still have a dwindling stash in the freezer that I'll use up too. She's doing ok on the formula, although the first bottle she didn't really like & she puked it all up. That was my fault though, cuz it was a can we opened when I was in the hospital the week after they were born, and I didn't read on the can that you're supposed to toss it after a month. I hope she can handle switching formulas a little bit, because I have tons of samples I'd like to use up that we couldn't use for David.
I'm feeling down. I think I get a lot of my self-worth from work. I'd never admit it to anyone there, but I missed getting some of the praise this week. Ok, I'm babbling now.
The Parade magazine in the paper today was really weird. The cover story was about Benazir Bhutto. They didn't even print a preface to the fact that now she's dead. I wonder how far ahead they print those? It seemed pretty tacky and irresponsible to me.
I also decided that at almost 5 months, I'm going to wean Zoe off the breastmilk. I just hit a wall with it, and I'm done. I'm doing it slowly... trying to just pump once in the morning and once at night. I still have a dwindling stash in the freezer that I'll use up too. She's doing ok on the formula, although the first bottle she didn't really like & she puked it all up. That was my fault though, cuz it was a can we opened when I was in the hospital the week after they were born, and I didn't read on the can that you're supposed to toss it after a month. I hope she can handle switching formulas a little bit, because I have tons of samples I'd like to use up that we couldn't use for David.
I'm feeling down. I think I get a lot of my self-worth from work. I'd never admit it to anyone there, but I missed getting some of the praise this week. Ok, I'm babbling now.
The Parade magazine in the paper today was really weird. The cover story was about Benazir Bhutto. They didn't even print a preface to the fact that now she's dead. I wonder how far ahead they print those? It seemed pretty tacky and irresponsible to me.
1.02.2008
Jan 2, 2008
It's hard to type with Zoe on my lap. So here are my latest pictures. I'm on vacation this week & loving staying home with Zoe & David all by myself! We have our moments but overall this is wonderful. Moments like Zoe puking up her bottle of formula I gave her. Three big heaves, all projectile. I watched it in slo-mo from the kitchen. Fortunately she managed to get most of it on the tray of her exer-saucer & not all over herself or the floor. I was going to clear out the other crib today so we can split them up. Didn't get to it. But I also didn't try that hard.
12.31.2007
Priorities
When I was still pregnant I read in a parents' magazine that something like 75% of moms would rather sleep another hour than take a shower. At the time I thought, how could you? Wouldn't you just have to take a shower sometimes? My, how things change. Every day I think, Geez, all this getting ready stuff takes forever. Maybe I should shave my head so I could sleep another 15 minutes every day.
David's started sleeping on his tummy now that he can roll over. He sleeps more soundly & for longer periods of time. He also fills up the front part of his diaper and the back is still dry, and he slobbers all over the sheet wherever his head lands for a while. We're entering a new era of bodily functions.
David's started sleeping on his tummy now that he can roll over. He sleeps more soundly & for longer periods of time. He also fills up the front part of his diaper and the back is still dry, and he slobbers all over the sheet wherever his head lands for a while. We're entering a new era of bodily functions.
New blog
If my horoscope was ever right about anything, it's that us Leos have big ideas and short attention spans. I have decided I'm tired of posting to my Yahoo group & thought I'd give blogger another try. I had a page almost exactly a year ago - right after we found out I was pregnant - and at the time we had dial-up that wouldn't cooperate, so I gave it up & forgot about it.
My Yahoo group was great during the pregnancy, but now that the babies are here it's not as much fun to post anymore. I suppose it's because I (mostly) have my body back & it's not so weird being me now. I figured with this blog I'll be a little more free & just talk about my life as if whoever is reading this knows exactly who I'm talking about... kinda lazy but easier than taking the time to explain who everyone is. You'll figure it out.
I'm on vacation this week - woo hoo! It only took me 13 years to get this particular week of the year. I'm looking forward to spending lots of plain old doing nothing time with David & Zoe. Steph & I get to have a girls' day on Thursday, which happens to be her birthday. Pedicures & margaritas, I can't think of a better thing to do on a Thursday. Then on Friday - weather permitting - I'm going to Susie's house with the babies. Ambitious & maybe a little crazy, but it is going to be fun. I'm not going to be camping in the woods or anything - whatever I forget, we can go buy at Walmart. Brett thinks I'm nuts. That's ok. If I played everything safe all the time he might as well just be married to himself. Make sense? It does in my head.
My head is spinning with all kinds of things I'd like to write about. I think that means I should go to bed. Since becoming a mom I have this never-ending struggle with myself: I long for a little alone time, and the only time I get it is after everyone's gone to bed. I am tired; I should sleep. But I treasure this quiet time now like I never did before... even if it's just surfing a while & catching up on email. Then I have guilt that if I'm going to stay up late I should read my Bible, or at least read instead of surf, but then I stuff that all down & surf more anyway. And the Mommy-guilt cycle continues and then I go to bed, and wake up another day all bleary-eyed & tell myself TONIGHT I'm going to bed when everyone else does. See you tomorrow night. :)
My Yahoo group was great during the pregnancy, but now that the babies are here it's not as much fun to post anymore. I suppose it's because I (mostly) have my body back & it's not so weird being me now. I figured with this blog I'll be a little more free & just talk about my life as if whoever is reading this knows exactly who I'm talking about... kinda lazy but easier than taking the time to explain who everyone is. You'll figure it out.
I'm on vacation this week - woo hoo! It only took me 13 years to get this particular week of the year. I'm looking forward to spending lots of plain old doing nothing time with David & Zoe. Steph & I get to have a girls' day on Thursday, which happens to be her birthday. Pedicures & margaritas, I can't think of a better thing to do on a Thursday. Then on Friday - weather permitting - I'm going to Susie's house with the babies. Ambitious & maybe a little crazy, but it is going to be fun. I'm not going to be camping in the woods or anything - whatever I forget, we can go buy at Walmart. Brett thinks I'm nuts. That's ok. If I played everything safe all the time he might as well just be married to himself. Make sense? It does in my head.
My head is spinning with all kinds of things I'd like to write about. I think that means I should go to bed. Since becoming a mom I have this never-ending struggle with myself: I long for a little alone time, and the only time I get it is after everyone's gone to bed. I am tired; I should sleep. But I treasure this quiet time now like I never did before... even if it's just surfing a while & catching up on email. Then I have guilt that if I'm going to stay up late I should read my Bible, or at least read instead of surf, but then I stuff that all down & surf more anyway. And the Mommy-guilt cycle continues and then I go to bed, and wake up another day all bleary-eyed & tell myself TONIGHT I'm going to bed when everyone else does. See you tomorrow night. :)
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